Letting Go
Last Friday we sent our 16-year-old daughter off on a mission trip to the Philippines. It was an emotional time for us all, yet we felt God’s leading that this was what He wanted for her. She was excited and nervous at the same time. So were we. 
She will face health risks she wouldn’t face in the United States. After missing two weeks of school, she’ll have to catch up on homework. She would likely be safer at home. But we believe Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.” Just as God worked out the details of getting her there, He’ll work out all the details regarding her health, her school work, and safety while she’s gone. She’s seeking Him first and leaving the rest in His big, capable hands.
I must admit, it was hard letting her go, even though I knew it was the right thing to do. I’m excited about what God is doing in her life, but this is my baby. She’s spent time away from home before, but never in another country. And never in a place where communication is spotty at best. We won’t hear much from her until she gets back. All I can do is trust God to take care of her. I’ve called on friends to pray for her daily. And some are even kind enough to pray for me, too!
Letting go of our kids is something we do gradually from the day they’re born. It starts the first time they’re taken from our arms into the hospital nursery. Soon, we leave them with a babysitter or Grandma. Then they’re off to their first day of school. Their first sleepover at a friend’s is another step in letting go. And on it goes until they graduate from high school, then go to college and get married. I’ve let go of my two older kids already. It isn’t any easier with my third, but it has to be done. It’s our job as parents. The only thing I can do to make it easier is to surround myself and my children with people I trust. And then trust God to be there when I’m not. I remind myself that He loves my kids even more than I do.
The Freedom of Letting Go is a newly-released book by Donna Clark Goodrich about letting go of your kids, as well as many other things we must release throughout our lives such as grief, hurts, jobs, possessions, control, and worry, to name just a few. Its practical and compassionate advice may help you release your grip on things or people you must release. I highly recommend it. Check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Freedom-Letting-Donna-Goodrich/dp/1936695650/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1335238660&sr=8-2
May God bless you as you trust Him with whatever or whomever you let go.
What has helped you let go of your kids? Which letting go experience has been hardest for you? Any tips for helping others let go?
Linda, what a lovely picture of the three of you. I’ve been praying for your daughter and will continue to until she’s safely home. Praying for you, too. Isn’t it wonderful that we know God watches over us wherever we go?
I’m looking forward to reading about her trip.
Blessings!
Jean
Thanks so much, Jean. Your prayers are a vital part of Ashley’s ministry. Yes, it IS wonderful to know God’s watching over us wherever we go. What a relief! 🙂
It was hard to let my daughter go when she married right out of high school. In addition to that, her first move took her to Texas, which was about 1000 miles from home. She is closer now, but still not close enough for regular visits. It is still hard, especially knowing how little I get to see my grandchildren as well. But I can console myself in that she is a strong Christian and that she keeps herself surrounded by strong church families. We do have Skype now and that helps too.
That must have really been tough, Janice. But how wonderful to hear how God has held her and walked with her. I haven’t tried Skype yet, but I hear it’s fabulous! Great suggestion. Thanks!
When we dropped off our first-born, Jen at college, Joe & I cried all the way home (about a 4 hours trip). When we dropped off our son, Andy, at college, I had tears in my eyes, but had real peace. When our son, Ryan went to college, I was clicking my heals together in a little ‘happy dance’ and couldn’t wait to change his bedroom into a guest room. (I painted the walls lavender!!!) I guess I matured with each leaving, but I still worried, prayed, and longed for them to be home. Each time, with each kid, God showed me His purpose for their lives, and even though it took the youngest one a LOT longer to figure that out, God has been faithful in answering our prayers. My favorite verse that I have held onto (I call it my ‘white-knuckle’ verse) is 1 Jn. 5:14-15: “And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.”
I love the progression of your responses to your kids’ leaving, Larua! LOL! And that’s the perfect verse to keep in mind when we face an opportunity to let go. Thanks for sharing it.
The book you recommend looks helpful, thanks. My girls have been out of the nest quite a while now. One is in town and one a 12-hour drive away (but she used to live in Eastern Europe). In “Parents of Missionaries,” Cheryl Savageau and I encourage parents and young adults to evaluate their relationship and work on building strong bonds before departure. Knowing you have a healthy emotional connection with your children makes the distances (there are many kinds) between you seem less daunting.
Parents of MIssionaries sounds like an awesome book! I never knew there was such a thing! Thanks for the recommendation.