Recently, my husband and I found out that we are expecting a baby. This will be our first child (aside from our fur baby Blitzen!), and as you can imagine, we are both very excited. But there’s something interesting about being pregnant. It makes you realize just how little control you actually have. What I mean is that I have a tiny little person inside of me who is growing and developing all on his/her own, apart from anything I am doing or not doing at this very moment.

When I found out I was pregnant, I began reading as much as I could about the changes that would take place in my body. I read about all of the recommendations for diet, exercise, water consumption, etc; as well as all of the things that I should refrain from. (It’s amazing how wide-spread and diverse the information is, and how adamant some people are that you follow their advice alone!)

I want to do what’s best for my baby, so I started trying to implement many of these suggestions. But as I did, I couldn’t help but think about the scores of women around the world who don’t even have the possibility of eating a healthy diet. Many don’t even have access to clean water — so how in the world could they drink eight or more glasses of water a day!? And yet somehow, in a way that seems to defy medical reason, their babies are born healthy.

This is not to say that I’m going to eschew all of the medical advice given to me. Far from it! And yet, there is this feeling that in large part I am completely out of control of my baby’s development. There is something huge happening inside of me, and yet, there’s nothing I can do about it! There is no way for me to even monitor my baby’s progress!

I’m early in my second trimester, so I’m not yet at the point where I can feel the baby moving (which I think will be of some comfort!). I’ve noticed a thickening of my mid-section, but nothing that I’d describe as a “bump” yet or anything that anyone but those closest to me would even notice. During my first trimester, I was blessed to avoid any morning sickness whatsoever. So at times, despite having seen the ultrasound-proof, I find myself thinking, “Okay, baby, I hope you’re in there, and I hope you’re doing well; because I can’t see you or feel you, and I have no control over what’s happening with you!”

Control. It’s an interesting thing. So often we think we have it, when really, it’s just an illusion. We think we are in control of our lives. We think we’ve got it all together. Then the unexpected occurs, and we realize just how little control we actually have.

When we feel that we are in control, we tend to move along in our own strength without giving too much thought to God. But when our lives get out of control, that’s when we call out to Him. As people of faith, we “know” that God is in control at all times; and yet, that knowledge often doesn’t translate into our every-day behavior and understanding of life.

My pregnancy has served as a reminder that I am not in control. And I am grateful for that reminder. I will continue to do my best to care for my body as my child develops; and yet, I surrender to the fact that there are forces at work inside of me that are beyond my control. I believe that the world operates in much the same way. It’s only all too rare that we notice.