Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 NIV

It started quite innocently when they were toddlers and fast became our nightly ritual. We’d split up between our son and daughter, alternating every other night, with books and then a cuddle before the lights went out. Inevitably, our children’s bodies quieted, but their little minds raced with all the questions they’d stored up during their busy day. They’d ask questions like: Who made all the stars? Why can’t we see the wind? How do fireflies glow?

Oh, they had great questions that allowed for some important pillow talk conversations and teachable moments! And as they grew, the questions changed from discovery to disclosure: Why didn’t so and so invite me to his/her birthday party?  Why do some mom and dads live in different houses?

And then, there were those nights when things just weren’t right. You know, a bad attitude or a “silly fight” ensues between siblings that seems to be about something more but you can’t place your finger on it. It’s those nights when my husband and I asked the questions: How was your day at school? What was the best thing that happened today? What was the worst thing that happened today? And if they were ready, they’d tell us all about it, right there with our heads resting on their pillow. It was a precious time of safety, sharing, and sustaining our family relationships.

Moving into middle school and high school, our roles and routines changed with their growing independence and autonomy. However, those communication lines and late night conversations remained open and active. Many times, upon their late arrival home from a band competition or an outing with friends, we’d hear a knock at our bedroom door and a whisper, “Are you still awake?” We were never quite sound asleep as any parent can attest, you don’t sleep until you hear the last set of footsteps walking up the stairs to bed. And so, we always welcomed them in to tell us how their night went and what the highlights were of their respective events.

Now they’re grown, married and raising their own children. At times we babysit our grand kids and I ask my kids, “What’s the routine?” and the answer, “Books, prayers, cuddles.” And, of course, pillow talk ensues.

How do you keep the communication lines open with your kids? Please share in the comments below and help one another out.

Blessings,

Dawn