How Bullies Changed My Daughter
One of my daughters will graduate from middle school next week. It can’t come soon enough. You hear how difficult these years can be on children–maybe even recall your own challenges at that age–but until your child is the victim of bullies, I’m not sure one can appreciate how much change happens at the middle school level.
For years, my daughter held her head high. She believed in herself and her abilities. Her side of the refrigerator was covered in artwork she was proud of and notes stating, “I am awesome!” and “I rock!”
A mere three years later, she’s a totally different person. She believes she’s ugly, overweight–though she’s not, will never have a boyfriend, and is untalented. This is all thanks to the bullies who have convinced her their words, not mine, are true.
I long for those days when she confidently strolled through the house as if she owned it. I miss those days when I believed her opinion of herself was high enough to weather the storms of middle school with their mean girls and popular boys who don’t talk to you unless you are a size two with perfect skin and hair. I never expected my child to be threatened and called names I didn’t even know the meaning of when I was that age. And as parents in this age of technology, we know the bullying does not stop at school. It continues via text and social media.
Two major incidents this year brought it all to a head (one I can’t talk about here). Then the consequences hit me this weekend when our family was supposed to attend a graduation party. My girls got there first. The minute my middle schooler caught sight of one of the guests–a bully from school–a panic attack seized her. She called me from her cell phone, but she was such a wreck she could barely speak. I thought she was having an asthma attack. What was supposed to be a nice day with friends ended up being a day where my daughter hid in her room watching NetFlix, because no amount of words from her parents could convince her she would be safe at the party.
As someone who was also bullied, I understand what she’s going through. But I only felt fearful once that someone would truly act on their words. My daughter’s bullies have been physical. They have been hurtful. And honestly, I don’t know if there is a way I can help my child gain back what they stole from her: her confidence and her self-esteem.
Please pray for us.
Note: This post originally appeared at The Busy Mom’s Daily.