Who is the most important influence in your child’s life?

For years, we’ve been hearing about the importance of peer influence and peer pressure in our children’s lives. We send them off to school and wonder who their friends will be.

Who will come alongside them?

Who will hurt them?

Who will they look up to?

Will they measure up to the smart kids?

Will they be mocked by the cool kids?

 The questions are unending, fueled in part by our own positive or negative school experiences.

As important as peer relationships are, research is now showing that parental and other adult influences have been seriously underestimated by our culture. It’s about time the experts recognize what we’ve known all along!

Strong relationships between parents (and other adult role models) and children establish a foundation that will impact a child in a variety of ways, including risk of drug use and the ability to handle problems with resilience.*

So what does this mean for Christian parents? For one thing, we need to stop trying to be our children’s friends, and instead own our roles as parents, role models, and mentors.

Here are a few verses to help us see the biblical basis for these relationships:

Psalm 78:4 – We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

We also need to be intentional about the non-parental influencers of our children. These influencers include teachers, coaches, Sunday school teachers, extended family members, and even the parents of our children’s friends.

While we may not always be able to choose our children’s teachers or coaches, we can monitor their interactions to ensure that the relationship is constructive. Above all, we can pray for the adults as well as for our children.

Children are natural imitators, and imitation is biblical. Even the apostle Paul wrote, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (I Corinthians 11:1), and “You became imitators of us and of the Lord” (I Thessalonians 1:6).

By understanding the importance of adult influence, we can be intentional about those who have the privilege of investing in the lives of the children God has entrusted into our care.

Who are the adult influencers and role models in your child’s life?
How do you monitor and evaluate these relationships?

* Data taken from a Moody webinar by E. Smith, May 2012.