Nurturing God’s Kingdom Purpose in Our Children
“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Luke 2:52
One of the most terrifying experiences was placing my daughter on a plane with strangers heading twenty-four hours due east across the Atlantic to Uganda. Luckily for her, the organizer limited parental good-byes to the church parking lot where I choked-back fears and tearful sobs as they boarded the van to JFK.
She’d been born for this—appointed in my womb for this day—I knew it full well. She was the girl who befriended the needy since kindergarten; the one who shared the gospel during childhood sleepovers; the young teen who announced after two weeks of summer camp that she was heading to Uganda. And yet, pondering these things like Mary mothered Jesus, I didn’t quite understand.
God appoints all of us to a specific purpose – one that usually corresponds to our heart’s deepest desire – in order to advance His kingdom on earth.
So, as parents, how do we recognize and nurture God’s call in our children’s lives?
Watch. Notice which unique interests, talents or causes repeatedly piques your child’s attention as they mature. These serve as clues to how God wired them for His purposes.
Encourage. Allow your child to explore their interests, God-given talents or causes within safe boundaries such as, writing stories, entering art competitions, volunteering at VBS, taking a mission trip with your church youth group, or serving the elderly.
Discuss. Ask questions. Many times peer pressure persuades children to try things just to fit into the group. It’s important to listen to their heart and discern a passing interest from a heart-call. Try not to dismiss their request as foolish or premature. Instead, keep communication lines open, especially if you’re uncomfortable with their choice of interests (ex. foreign missions, working in the inner city or a soup kitchen, etc). Remember, God does the equipping and although some of our children’s choices may seem crazy dangerous, we need to keep an open mind.
Pray. Seeking God’s will for our children’s future works best on our knees. We lay our parental fears and concerns at God’s feet when we’re alone and when we pray alongside our children, we show them we love them and we’re for them.
Walk. Watch for God-portunities, (especially if you’ve been praying for confirmation) and teach your child how to walk into these opportunities as an act of obedience to God’s call on their lives. This is the hardest part of parenting because God will call us to give Him control of our children’s lives.
My daughter embarks on her fourth trip to Uganda this summer along with a shorter trip to Guatemala. It’s never easy sending her off to dangerous places, but when I see God’s DNA planted deep inside her—that insatiable desire for justice and compassion for the orphans—I know it’s right. She’s living out God’s purpose for her; growing in wisdom and stature, and in favor of God and men.
Do you see God’s DNA running through your child’s veins? Can you see those insatiable desires, interests or causes they carry? Are you willing to nurture God’s kingdom purpose in their lives? What does that look like for you?
Blessings, Dawn Aldrich Children’s Author, Blogger, TV Host
Oh, Dawn! You’ve written something that strikes a deep chord within me. This may be one of the best and most important posts our blog has had thus far. Or maybe it’s just to me because I’m in that stage of parenting with my last child! 🙂 I have joyfully struggled with letting my daughter go where God is leading her, which last April, meant to the Philippines when she was just 16. I’m thrilled to see her follow God’s leading. Yet it is scary and exciting all at the same time. Your tips for recognizing and nurturing God’s call on our children’s lives are spot on. I’m reposting this on my FB author page and my Pinterest parenting board. I have a feeling I may need to go back and remind myself of these things when the fears creep in. Thank you! Well done!
Linda,
Your words encourage this writer’s heart. Thank you!
This world seems so small to our kids’ generation, doesn’t it? I’ll be praying for your Mama’s heart, too. Diane has great points below and has recommended a great resource. While my daughter and son-in-law haven’t experienced more than a four weeks overseas at a time, the fears are real every time.
I agree with Linda! This is an amazing message, Dawn, and so beautifully written from a mother’s heart. Thank you!
Crystal,
Your words warm my heart. Thank you.
I agree with Linda and Crystal about the beauty of this post. It’s beautifully written, and it is wise. Certainly raising our children must include guiding them to discover their unique traits and giftings, as well as releasing them to follow where the Lord leads.
At the same time, having spent nearly six years as a POM (parent of a missionary)–and fully expecting that is what I would be for the rest of my life–I would just like to add a thought or two, if I may.
First, parents of missionaries experience real loss and real grief, no matter how supportive they are of their children’s service. When grandchildren are involved, the grief goes even deeper. Too often POMs feel alone with their grief and often don’t even recognize it as such; instead, they fear that something is wrong with their faith.
Second, trusting God and praying about our concerns, fears, and grief ARE essential. But so is connection and honest sharing with others. We need to find those who either understand our grief–because they’ve experienced it too–or others who don’t understand but are willing to try and to accept. A time also comes when we must admit our struggle and conflicted emotions to our adult children too, because in truth the partings are not easy for them either.
The book I co-wrote with Cheryl Savageau (a licensed clinical counselor) is a good place for anyone to begin to learn more about these areas of POM experience, plus many others. The book is Parents of Missionaries: How to Thrive and Stay Connected When Your Children and Grandchildren Serve Cross-Culturally (now published by IVP). There’s also a POM community on Facebook, and a website/online ministry at http://www.pomnet.org.
My daughter and her family are now a 12-hour drive away instead of a 24-hour journey of several flights. But my heart is still with all the POMs I know who see their grandchildren only every few years and yet resolve and strive to gladly relinquish that joy.
Diane,
I whole-heartedly welcome your comments.
While I have only experienced short-term loss, I can only imagine the grief a parent feels during their child’s long-term missionary experience.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, insights, and precious resource for our fellow POM’s.
Thanks, Dawn!
Thanks from me, too, Diane. Your words are so insightful and helpful. Your book sounds awesome. I just might have to check that out! Blessings!