Friendship Long Distance
We all know how important it is for our children to develop strong, healthy friendships. These are the kind of relationships that bring out the best in our kids; encouraging, accepting, challenging, relaxing. When our kids have good friends they flourish.
So what can we do when our children’s friends move away? When they move a long, long way away? Are there things we can do to support these positive relationships so they continue to have an impact on our children’s lives despite the distance?
I believe the answer is yes. But it will involve hard work and commitment to the friendship by the young people, AND their families.
We are facing this exact situation in our family. My daughter, who just turned 13, has a very close friend whose family have decided to move from Australia to South America to work as missionaries there. Here are some of the things we will be doing to help the friendship between these two special girls continue, and potentially strengthen:
- We’ll be keeping communication alive! This means using all the forms of communication media that are available and suit the girl’s personalities and ages. Skype may be a possibility depending on location. Email is already organised. Facebook will be arranged once both girls turn 13 and will be carefully monitored by parents to keep it safe, relevant and positive. We’ll also be encouraging good old fashioned letters!
- We’re considering the possibility of a visit or two. This takes courage, commitment and organisation on behalf of us parents (Are we really contemplating sending our daughter half way across the world at some stage in the next few years? Um, Yes…. maybe I’ll go too and visit some of my long distance friends on the way?)
- Encourage new relationships and friendships. It’s important the girls continue to grow and relate deeply with the people around them, always treasuring the friendships of the past as well as those in the future.
- Remind the girls that friendships can last, even if there are years and oceans in between. Telling real life stories about long distance friendships can help with this – like ones from my childhood and adult life.
What other tips would you recommend to keep friendships strong long distance?
Modern technology keeps communication lines open more readily than when I grew up. I loved sending and receiving those old fashioned letters and cards to cousins and friends far away. Now, my kids keep in touch globally through Skype and now the iPhone FaceTime app. It’s amazing! Funny how simple technology keeps our global neighbors close.
HI Penny,
What a great post! In today’s transient society this is something to which many can relate. I believe the girls will truly enjoy this long-distance relationship throughout the teen years. It’s good for them to have a trustworthy friend who is outside of their circle of local friends. They will be able to confide in one another when they have something to share with that “special” someone. The methods of communication are always changing, but the need for a “pen pal” or long distance friend has stood the test of time.
Love this Penny – for us we met most of our friends regularly – at least once a year, but I think that it is important to encourage them to keep the communication going – but remember to also encourage Lilian when her friend is busy with her new life and doesn’t seem to be there when she thinks she should be! Or get an email etc when she thought it would come since her friend will have so much to learn and do and Lilian will be the one with the ‘hole’ in her life. I am sure that they will be blessed especially if Lilian is able to be patient with her friend!!!
What a nice post, Penny. I had a pen pal as a girl. Even though we never met, we stayed in touch for years sharing all kinds of things. I would love to find a way to share this joy with my daughters.
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