Peer pressure. It’s been blamed for such adolescent choices as drinking alcohol, smoking, and engaging in sexual activity.

Children want to belong. They want to fit in. For most adolescents, the worst thing in the world is to be different from their peers. This need to belong often motivates them to make choices devoid of wisdom. 

Popular kids set the standards to stay popular. Everyone else succumbs to their influence to become popular.

So we lecture our children to think for themselves. We counsel them on the dangers of susceptibility to peer influence. We pray for wisdom and discernment…for them and for us as they navigate the teen years. 

Peer pressure isn’t limited to children and teens. If we’re honest, adults are also susceptible to peer pressure. We want to belong to the “in” group at church or in our neighborhood. We don’t like being left out any more than our children and grandchildren do.

But is all peer pressure bad? With the right friends, we and our children can be influenced in positive ways, too. Perhaps your son is afraid of heights, and his friends encourage him to face his fear and join them in climbing a rock wall at a local recreational center. Maybe your daughter is uncomfortable around disabled children, and her friends persuade her to join them in volunteering at a local after-school center. Or what if your son is doing poorly in math, and his best friend loves the subject and offers to help him? 

Good friends can help us, too. They can encourage us to join a Bible study, or get involved in a missions program. They can help us grow in our relationship with the Lord. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Of course, we want our children to think independently and to be confident in their own identities, especially their identity as a child of God. Still, constructive friendships can provide positive peer pressure – the kind that will encourage them to be all God intends them to be.