A friend was dismayed recently by her own slip of the tongue. As she was tucking in her three-year-old son for the night, she found herself whispering, “You’re my favorite.”

Horrors! Did that make her a bad mother…or just an honest one at that moment?

Do you have a favorite child? Maybe the better question is, Will you admit to having a favorite? Perhaps he’s the easy-going one in the group – the one who goes along with whatever you say. Maybe she’s the child you can relate to the most – because she’s just like you.

More than likely you love all your children equally, but your favorite child will change based on the circumstances and their growth stage. Let’s face it, if one child is in the terrible-twos phase and the other is a newborn, there will definitely be times when you have a “favorite”!

The problem is not in having a favorite, the problem is in either denying it or showing your favoritism. Remember the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis? Of course Joseph was Jacob’s favorite son. After all, Joseph was the first born of Jacob’s favorite (oops- there’s that word again!) wife, Rachel. But the trouble multiplied when he showed his favoritism, culminating in giving Joseph a fancy coat that made him a target for his brothers.

Of all people, Jacob should have known better than to show his favoritism. He saw what it did to his family when he was growing up. His dad, Isaac, favored Esau, while his mother, Rebekah, favored him. Look what that did to Esau and Jacob’s sibling relationship!

Telling yourself not to have a favorite is rarely effective. It’s difficult to dictate emotions. But actions can be controlled. Giving one child special treatment, whether it’s lesser punishments, fewer chores, or more extravagant gifts, will cause problems with their siblings. It will also create unreasonable expectations in their adult relationships.Besides, if you’re like most parents, your “favorite” child will continually change. Cuddly three-year-old or rebellious teen? Hmmm. But what happens when that cuddly three-year-old becomes a whiny six-year-old and the rebellious teen is now marching to “Pomp and Circumstance” as he receives his high school diploma? Or when the high school graduate becomes a confused college student who fails his first semester and  the whiny child is now a beautiful bride proceeding down the aisle toward her husband-to-be? See what I mean?

Your love for your children doesn’t change, but favorite status will come and go. That’s why it’s important not to “play favorites,” regardless of what you’re feeling at that moment.

Still, there is one Parent who has favorites and shows it. Every child of God is His favorite, and He openly displays His pleasure with each of us. That’s one favorite status we all enjoy – and it will never change!