I was practically a child–a month shy of being 42–when I became a grandma. Maybe that doesn’t sound young to some, but I felt unprepared to be in that elite group. Didn’t grandmas have gray hair and walk with a cane? Weren’t they old fashioned and out of step with today’s trendy society?

But somewhere between my daughter’s pregnancy announcement and my grandson’s first birthday, I became a grandma. It didn’t happen all at once. It took me awhile to get my mind around the fact that I was indeed old enough and that I would love this little baby, regardless of how old he made me feel. But wonder of wonders, this sweet new life didn’t make me feel old. He made me feel young again!

I also felt many of the same inadequacies as when I became a mother—except my questions now had grandma in them instead of mom. Will I be a good grandma? Would I grow tired of it? Will I be patient? What kinds of rules do grandmas make? What makes a good grandma? I wanted to be awesome in this important new role. But what did I know about being a grandma?

Maybe you can relate. So, I’m offering up these suggestions to help you in those first faltering steps toward grandparenting.

1. Love that grandchild with your whole heart. Forget any hesitancy or fears you may feel. Not having all the responsibilities that go with parenting frees you to love lavishly.
2. Support your child. Remember that as conflicted as you may feel about being a grandparent, your child is probably feeling lots of things as well—probably times ten! Be sure you don’t get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to encourage and support your child as he or she becomes a parent. Don’t let any negative emotions you may feel reflect onto your child. Remember you’re a mirror for them as parents. When you tell them what good parents they’ll be it’s far more likely they’ll live up to that image. Help them learn any parenting and life skills they may be lacking. Let your encouragement far outweigh your advice.
3. Give yourself time. Without a doubt, it’s a mind-blowing thought that you’re becoming the older generation. But gradually, you’ll find yourself embracing this new role. However, it may take time, so you might as well give yourself permission to take it slow.
4. Be yourself. Cast aside all those stereotypical grandparents you have in your mind. They’re not you. What do you enjoy? What is your temperament? What are your hobbies? All these things and more will be who you are as a grandparent. You don’t need to be anything else. Your grandchildren will love you for who you are.
5. Focus on the positives. What aspects of grandparenting do you look forward to? Envision yourself in that light, doing those things. The way you think becomes the way you are.
6. Accept your mixed emotions. It’s okay to feel excited and apprehensive at the same time. It’s normal! Maybe you feel depressed, sad, elated, scared, worried about your child being a parent, or a host of other emotions. You may feel all of these in one day! Whatever you feel, acknowledge it, but realize that feelings change. Just because you’re feeling something now doesn’t mean that feeling will define you as a grandparent.
7. Trust God. Remember that He has called you to be a grandparent regardless of the circumstances that made you one. He will equip you in this new role. You can trust God to help in every way, every emotion, every situation. Thank Him for this new opportunity and His faithfulness.

Becoming a grandparent is a big deal. I’m now the proud grandparent of six grandchildren with another due in October. I’m happy to report I’ve adjusted well and now revel in being a grandma. It’s by far the most enjoyable hat I’ve ever worn. I think I’m a pretty good grandma despite my earlier doubts.

Oh, and just for the record, I have only a sprinkle of gray hair and I still don’t walk with a cane.

How did you feel when you learned you were going to be a grandparent? How have you adjusted?