And so it begins. Television commercials advertising the next must-have toy. Stores promoting layaway so families can have everything they want on Christmas morning.

Maybe it’s because we can’t say “No” to our children.

Maybe it’s because we can’t say “No” to ourselves.

On average, each American household with at least one credit card carries more than $15,000 in credit card debt. That doesn’t include mortgages, home equity loans, or car loans.

We’re spending more than we’re earning, and few seem concerned about it. Some of this debt may be due to a sudden loss of employment or a health emergency. But in many cases, the cause is simply a sense of entitlement.

We buy stuff because we’ve persuaded ourselves we need it.
We tell ourselves we deserve it.
We convince ourselves we’ve earned it.

One of my favorite movies is the 1971 release of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. As a group of children and their parents tour Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, we see the sense of entitlement that grips each child except Charlie. One especially demanding little girl, Veruca Salt, sings “I Want It Now” to express her demands. A spoiled little girl? Absolutely. But she didn’t get that way on her own. She had lots of help from Mommy & Daddy.

Researchers now tell us this sense of entitlement is the mark of an entire generation. The millennials, the oldest of whom were born in the late 1980s, are known for being highly materialistic without wanting to work hard for the things they desire. This is a generation who grew up hearing how special they are, wanting for very little because their parents didn’t want them to go without. Many parents of millennials gave them much freedom with little responsibility. The result is a generation that is unrealistic about the world around them.

Are there exceptions? Of course. Still, when an entire generation is broadly marked by a need to satisfy their desires without earning their privileges, something is wrong.

So what can we do to ensure another generation doesn’t grow up with a similar sense of entitlement? We can start by saying “No.” Not just to the children, but to ourselves, too. We can:

• Save for the things we want rather than reaching for the plastic.
• Establish a practice that for every new “toy” that comes into the house (whether for children or adults), an old “toy” is donated to someone else.
• Give children responsibility in addition to privilege, and model responsibility for them by the way we respond to our own work. Even little children can perform simple chores.
• Make the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday a time of real thanksgiving, rather than a day of just eating more than we should. Serve as a family at a local homeless shelter or church that is providing a Thanksgiving meal to the less fortunate. Cultivate thankfulness.
• Plan now for a simpler Christmas. One that is more focused on people than on things. And one that doesn’t leave you deeper in debt than before.

Learning to say no to ourselves and our children may not be easy or pleasant. But the benefits of contentment and thankfulness will be worth it.