Foster care – another way to grow a family.
Foster care.
I wonder what you think of when you hear those words? Does your mind immediately leap to images of dysfunction and uncertainty – or does it linger on hope and opportunity?
In a general definition foster care is the placement and care of a child unable to live with their biological parents in another family. The new family take on the day to day roles of parental care for the child including meeting the physical and emotional needs. Foster care can be short term care, or permanent care, depending on the child’s circumstances. Sometimes it can transition into adoption, but not always.
My own experience with foster care probably began when I was a child, and that was through novels. I devoured the Elizabeth Gail series by Hilda Stahl, and in doing so I think I internalized the idea that families can grow in all sorts of ways. I then met my husband, who had been raised in a home that provided long term care for young people aged between 15 and 25 years. But it wasn’t until we’d had two biological children (a girl and a boy) that we considered doing foster care for ourselves. We knew we had space in our family for more people, and wanted to offer that space to a child or children who really needed it. We briefly considered overseas adoption, thought about doing respite and short term care, then decided to apply to be permanent foster carers.
It took us a while before a child was placed with us. The agencies we were involved with took their time and worked hard to make the best match they could: child to family, family to child. The wait meant we were able to be temporary carers for a young teen. It was an important bridging space in her life. Several months after she moved on to a permanent placement our youngest joined our family. He’s been with us for over 4 years now. In many ways his place in our family is just like that of the other children. In other ways his life story is very unique. Our family has a wider definition now that includes accepting and responding to various members of his birth family. We’ve been stretched, challenged, grown and encouraged in ways that would not have been possible had we not welcomed him into our space.
Yes, sometimes being a foster carer is hard. It tugs at your heart in ways that cannot be readily explained. But it is also an avenue of grace. Deep grace that teaches the heart of God for all of us. A heart that chooses a path of love – despite what it will bring.
I’ll be writing about foster care once a month for the duration of 2015 (every 2nd Thursday). If you missed my first post on the topic you can find it here.
NOTE: Although some aspects of foster care and the experiences of kids in care are universal, I am writing from the perspective of an Aussie foster carer. As such my comments will be general and based on my personal experience. If you are interested in investigating foster care as a possibility for your family, please contact a trustworthy agency in your local area to discuss the particulars relevant to your situation.