The Little House series of books written by Laura Ingalls Wilder concludes with The First Four Years. It is a book that shares a picture of the earliest years of the married life of Laura and Almanzo Wilder. The book shares their struggles and joys, successes and setbacks, revealing a rhythm that many of us can quickly identify with. It also shares how to handle the inevitable bumps in the road we all encounter.

I’m not talking about the big, life-altering moments that we all face at one point or another, but rather, the bumps that deliver a quieter, yet still dangerous, threat. Laura recounts the first meal she prepared for a group of threshers not long after she married Almanzo. It was a wonderful meal—except that the beans were hard and she forgot to put sugar in the pies. Then there was the unexpected move and the new mortgage due to losing a crop of wheat. There was the persistent nausea and dizziness that signaled the beginning of Laura’s days as an expectant mother. And there was the annoying neighbor who borrowed everything under the sun yet never seemed to remember to return it when he was finished.

What secrets enabled her to ride out the bumps? I believe one of them was her habit of finding joy in the things that surrounded her. When she recounted her pioneer adventures and journey to adulthood in her classic books, she shared the heartaches and disappointments. But generously sprinkled through every book are the gentle reminders of the joy she experienced, sometimes even in the midst of heartache. She took the time to notice the sweet, fresh grass; the fragrant, wild violets; the wild prairie roses. She enjoyed the freedom she felt when she rode a horse, the satisfaction of crafting a new dress, and the precious time spent with family.

I think another secret was her willingness to confront her feelings head-on. She didn’t hide behind a mask or pretend to be fine when she was not. When Almanzo suggested it was time they marry, Laura shared with him her honest feelings—she didn’t want to marry a farmer. When Indians came to her new home, she hid behind locked doors—until they noticed her riding pony and lovely saddle. That sent Laura storming angrily to the barn to chase the uninvited guests away. When one of the men noticed the saddle wasn’t the only lovely thing in the barn, Laura promptly slapped his face.

It reminds me of another woman who stormed into a group of men—and likely wondered why in the world she had done it once the heat of the moment had cooled. Do you remember Martha in Luke 10? She was preparing the food for Jesus and His disciples, but she apparently wasn’t happy about it. At least, she wasn’t happy about doing it alone. She stormed in on the gathering of friends and told Jesus what to do. But what did Jesus do instead? He gently corrected Martha and redirected her.

I’m not suggesting that we surrender to our emotions, blurting out what is on our minds at the time, walking into a dangerous situation, or telling Jesus what we think He should be doing. But I am suggesting that we need to be honest and acknowledge what we’re feeling. During a particularly painful time in my life, a wise woman who had been through a situation similar to mine, stopped, gave me a hug, and whispered, “Whatever you are feeling, it’s OK.” I cannot tell you how often I have remembered that through the years. She wasn’t saying that all feelings were right or healthy. She wasn’t suggesting I give in to what I was feeling and let emotions rule. She was quietly telling me that I had to get past worrying about how I thought I “should” be feeling in response to the pain and just feel. Then I could move forward, with God, and heal.

What can we do when the little bumps threaten to overwhelm us? How do we react when we get the flu hours before a major deadline, when the computer crashes again, or when the money we thought would cover the expenses doesn’t? We can try to ignore them, plowing ever forward until one day the stress of life and the weariness of pressing on crashes in on us, which may result in acting irrationally or saying something we will later wish we hadn’t. Or, we can face what we’re feeling. Find a safe place and be real with yourself and with God. It may be our prayer closet. It may be while standing at the sink washing the dishes. But face it, take your feelings to Him without trying to dress them up and force them into shape first. Listen for His gentle voice to redirect your emotions and refocus your heart. Then look around for the little joys that He has scattered all around you. Notice the blooming flowers and growing grass. Hear the song of a bird. Watch the sun bathe all creation with its light. Catch the twinkling of a solitary star on a dark night. And enjoy the freedom of knowing you are treasured and loved more than any of these things.

Living in this truth, and teaching your children to do the same, will leave your house a legacy.