In Part I of this post on September 7, we talked about some of the dangers you and your children need to be aware of before you give them a cell phone. These include a lack of privacy and dangers such as cyber-bullying, predatory apps, and inappropriate photos and videos.Here are some suggestions you may want to consider:1. Boundaries will be established.

They may chafe at the boundaries, but without them your children are at risk. So establish these boundaries in advance:

Time limits
Establish no-phone zones, including homework time, and after bedtime. Remove the phone to a central place in the house to prevent the temptation to answer a call or text when they should be doing homework or sleeping. Surveys reveal that kids will check their phones to answer texts well into the night.

Texting caps
They need to understand that calling or texting beyond the plan’s minute and text caps will result in consequences. Decide those consequences in advance, whether loss of phone privileges or payment by your child. One way to avoid this problem is to start with a prepaid plan. The first few times they hit the limit will teach them restraint more effectively than any lecture.

No smart phone while driving
For older teens, it should be understood that they will never use their phone to call or text while driving, regardless of whether local laws prohibit it. Depending on the survey, anywhere from 45 to 75% of teens admit to texting while driving. That’s not just foolish, it’s deadly.

2. Oversight will be practiced

Since you are paying for the phone, your son or daughter should understand they do not have an expectation of privacy. They don’t own the phone, you do. As such, you have every right to know how and when it is being used. That means:

You will check texts
They may object to this “violation of privacy,” but 41% of teens admit to having sent a sexual text (sexting). You need to know what they are sending…and receiving. Let them know texts will be checked against the monthly bill to determine if they are erasing messages to hide them.

You will check their internet history
A smart phone is not just a phone. It provides full access to the Internet. As such, the same restrictions you have in place on your home computer should be in place on the phone.

For more information, about dangerous on-line trends, see Online Trends Parents Need to Warn Their Kids About – Part 1.

Consider a sliding scale of accountability. In the beginning, review phone history daily. As your son or daughter earns your trust, you may choose to reduce it to several times a week and eventually to spot checks.

3. Avoid a false sense of security.

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security. Follow these or other recommendations won’t eliminate all dangers. Your children still need to exercise good judgment:

Stranger danger
The familiar instruction, “Don’t talk to strangers,” is just as valid on the phone as it is face to face. Identity can still be discovered, even if the site or app claims the assurance of anonymity.

A smart phone is not automatic protection from danger
Your children might be tempted into dangerous situations, thinking that if trouble occurs, they’ll simply use their smart phone to call for help. But even if they have access to their phone, help may not arrive in time. Better to not enter the situation at all.

4. Establish a contract

An effective way to ensure your son or daughter’s compliance with these restrictions is by implementing a contract between you and your child. Both you and they will understand what’s at stake and what’s in place before they receive their phone. If calling it a contract makes you uncomfortable, call it a written, signed agreement. Make it a collaborative process. When your child feels as if he or she has been heard, they will more willingly take ownership of the agreement.

Even if your child already has a smart phone, it’s not too late to establish a contract. Fifteen minutes now may save years of heartache later—for them and for you.

The smart phone is a tool. As with any other tool, teach your children to handle it wisely. 

(Parts 1 and 2 of this article were originally written for Crosswalk.com)