Often, as parents, we fail to meet our own expectations. We want to be the wonderfully fashionable mum with great advice for our teenage daughters’ upcoming formal (okay, maybe that’s just me). We dream of being able to do hair like those blogging hair stylist moms. We may scroll through Pinterest, or Facebook feeds for hints and tips and recipes for ‘healthy school lunches’ or ‘super birthday party ideas’. We may wish our homes looked like Jeran’s from Oleander and Palm (isn’t it gorgeous!) when in reality if someone photographed our lounge room it would look more like viewing the leftovers from a garage sale on a wet and windy day. We are often, and in many different ways, simply quite ordinary.

But maybe, in parenting, ordinary isn’t such a bad thing. Over the last couple of weekends my husband has been busy. The old doors from our ugly built-in wardrobes were cut with the electric saw and jig-saw, screws drilled in place, nails hammered in timber bent and fixed in place. And every so often my son would run inside with his report ‘It looks so good! It’s going to be awesome!’ What was my husband doing? Building a skate board ramp. Is this because he’s an expert carpenter? No. Because he’s proficient with design and can build anything our children ask for? No. Was the experience entirely stress free and flawless? No – not even that. At his own admission, my husband’s timber skills are rather ordinary. But, as our son had predicted the resulting skate ramp is pretty awesome.

What turned my husband’s ordinary into extraordinary was the commitment he gave to our son. The two of them had been discussing and dreaming and planning the skate ramp for months. The ramp making involved much deliberation and cooperation. Slowly, slowly, our son’s ideas became a reality, all because of my husband’s perseverance and willingness to face his ordinary and give his best. And the process was one in which relationship was prioritised.

I wonder if this is the key? The presence we give to children, the time and imagination to hear their dreams and – where possible – facilitate their coming true. Maybe it’s being open and honest with our limitations, admitting that maybe plan A won’t work, but demonstrating the willingness to have a go, make mistakes, burn the onions and start again. Perhaps it’s in these moments of facing our ordinary that we provide an example to our children more empowering than any perfection could.

There are so many times when we wish we could be extraordinary parents. And some of us are extraordinary in many aspects of our lives. But maybe in those areas where we feel we are just ordinary it’s time to embrace the possibilities. Time to value relationship, shared experience and loving acceptance over perfection and in doing so, allow our ordinary parenting to be, well, awesome.

Penny