Helping Your Child Handle Cyber-Bullying
Cyber-bullying is a major issue today in the lives of our tweens and young teens. In fact, the problem is so serious that some tweens and teens have committed suicide as a result of cyber-bullying. So, I believe that, as parents and grandparents, we need to be aware of the problem and how to address it.
What is cyber-bullying? Cyber-bullying is using social media to post rude, negative comments about another teen for the purpose of hurting him or her. Most cyber-bullying seems to be directed at girls, but, according to a recent post on the Psychology Today website, boys are more guilty of initiating cyber-bullying than girls.
This is how cyber-bullying works:
A teen posts a derogatory and defamatory message on a social media website or in a text. When the targeted teen reads the post, she immediately knows it’s about her, although others who read the post may not know who the targeted person is. For this reason, it’s difficult to punish the poster because there is no real proof that the poster was targeting a specific teen.
Cyber-bullying also includes online threats, tweets, and posting any kind of information–including pictures or videos–that are meant to hurt, embarrass, or upset someone. Often, the one posting the hurtful material refuses to remove these pictures, videos, and rude comments, even after the targeted person asks the poster to remove them.
Some teens create “fake” or “fun” Instagram accounts that they use only for cyber-bullying. These accounts are called “finsta’ accounts and are separate and distinct from their official Instagram accounts. While “finsta” accounts are supposed to be used for good, fun things, too often they are used to post incidents of girl or boy drama or to make rude comments about other teens.
This is so sad! And so wrong!
Perhaps your tween or teen is a victim of cyber-bullying. If so, what can you do?
1—Keep open the lines of communication with your child. Ask your child if he or she is being bullied. Many teens are afraid or reluctant to reveal that they are victims of cyber-bullying because they feel embarrassed or afraid. They may also be reluctant to report the bully because they are not sure of the bully’s identity or they are afraid of repercussions from the bully. But when not confronted, cyber-bullying gets worse, often with tragic results, including suicide. So, don’t hesitate to ask your child if he is facing this issue so that you can help your child deal with it.
Some states have laws against cyber-bullying. If the bullying includes harmful threats, report them to your local police who can often track down the bully. Also, report the bullying to the social media platform on which the bullying occurs. Social media platforms have ways of identifying bullies and blocking them.
2—Advise your child to ignore the cyber-bully’s lies about her. Explain to your child that she is not wrestling against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6: 12), but against demonic spirits whose sole purpose is to discourage, depress, and destroy your child through vicious lies. Encourage your child to read Psalm 139 that says your child is loved and accepted by God. No bully can alter that truth.
3—Pray with your child that the cyber-bully will come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord. Cyber-bullies are insecure and derive their importance from hurting others. Only by experiencing God’s love for them will they learn to love themselves.
4—Teach your child to obey 1 Peter 3: 9: “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.” Encourage your teen to do something good for the bully. For example, when the bully has a birthday, post a greeting on her FB page. Exercise wisdom, however. Sometimes the safest approach is to avoid all contact with the bully.
5—Remind your teen that the Lord is her Defender. Read together this comforting promise in Psalm 18: How I love you, Lord! You are my defender. The Lord is my protector; He is my strong fortress. My God is my protection, and with him I am safe. He protects me like a shield; He defends me and keeps me safe. I call to the Lord, and He saves me from my enemies. Praise the Lord!
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Copyright 2018 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved.
TOBY TOO SMALL
by MaryAnn Diorio
Toby Michaels is small. Too small to be of much good to anyone. But one day, Toby discovers that it’s now how big you are on the outside that matters; it’s how big you are on the inside. A delightful story for children ages 2 – 7.