What constitutes a healthy understanding of sin, and how does it affect our lives on earth and on into eternity? It grieves me to think of the masses of people who think if they do more good things than bad in their lives, they have their ticket into heaven.

As a child, I saw myself as a “good girl.” I was obedient, so in my mind, I didn’t sin. I thought only people who didn’t obey the rules were sinners, and I obeyed them. So as a teenager, I couldn’t grasp the Scripture that said, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) I really didn’t get it how Jesus died for my sins. Somehow, in his grace, I still had a strong desire to please Jesus, and it kept me out of trouble for all but five years of miserable stupidity after graduating with only a BS degree, not the coveted “Mrs.” Even then, I didn’t recognize my blatant sins, but instead, found ways to excuse them.

We live in a society that has fallen so low that calling something a sin is perceived as the worst thing a person could do. We are expected to love everyone, and we should, but – and this is the catch – if we “love” them we are expected to support them no matter what they choose to do. It is deemed off limits to share our personal values, even if we believe it will help them.

Our children and grandchildren are growing up in this society which is doing everything in its power to indoctrinate them with this kind of thinking. We, as Christian caregivers, must make the most of every opportunity to help our children gain a healthy understanding of sin.

We must rise above the “good boy” or “good girl” mentality. Yes, we do teach right from wrong, and we do want them to be good boys and girls. But that isn’t enough. They need to understand where sin comes from.

Jesus taught that following the rules wasn’t enough when he taught the lessons in the Sermon on the Mount. He expanded on the commandment “Thou shalt not murder” by saying if we hate our brother we are committing murder in our hearts. He also said if we lust after someone, we commit adultery in our hearts. (Matthew 5)

We need to help our children to understand we can sin in our hearts, even when our actions look good to people who watch us.

When a Pharisee asked Jesus which was the greatest commandment, Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-39)

I believe these two commandments are excellent reference points to help children learn to recognize sin. The first commandment can lead them to realize when we let things be more important to us than God, then we are sinning. When it is more important to be liked by others than to please God, we are sinning. The second commandment helps to put selfishness into perspective as we relate to others. Most sins come about when we don’t get our own way. (See James 4:1-3) Help children recognize that this self-centeredness is the root of most of our sins.

Be gentle when helping children understand sin. The purpose of recognizing sin is not to make people feel unforgivable, but to understand their need for forgiveness. And don’t overlook the second part – that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead so he could bear the punishment for our sins. Restoring our relationship with God is the bottom line. We need to repent of our sins – turn away from them – and accept Christ Jesus’ forgiveness.

I wish I had understood more of this as a child. I believe I could have spared myself a lot of pain.

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash