by Jean Matthew Hall

The Bible that tell us God writes on our hearts. That leads me to believe that we write on each other’s hearts, too, especially on the impressionable hearts of children.

Our children’s hearts are soft and moldable. Just as our little ones press cookie cutters into dough or clay to make fun things, so we adults impress images and words on our children’s hearts. Unfortunately, the impressions we make on their hearts often become permanent; we cannot simply smash them together like clay, and start all over again.

Parents, what kinds of impressions are we making on our children’s hearts? Are we leaving beautiful images? Tender words? Forgiveness? Respect for them as persons?

Or, are we unintentionally leaving scars of harshness? Unforgiveness? Unrealistic expectations? Disrespect? Are our careless words and actions trampling those tender hears?

Touching is as powerful on hearts as words are. Do we make a point to daily touch your children lovingly? To hold them in our arms or on our laps every single day? As they grow older do we continue to touch them in positive ways by tussling, teasing, and joking with them?

Our reactions also make deep impressions on children’s hearts. Do we applaud their efforts? Their responsible behavior? Their persistence? Or do you find it comes more naturally to us to point out their failures? Their mistakes?

Or, just as destructively, do we even notice their efforts? Or, do we notice and applaud only their achievements and successes?

Every word, every deed, every reaction leaves a mark on our children’s hearts. Sometimes they can be erased by sincere apologies, honest conversations, heartfelt forgiveness. But some impressions are so deep, so painful they will never heal.

Parents, we are writing on their hearts LOVE, JOY, WORTHINESS, TENDERNESS…

Or we are writing FEAR, SELF-DOUBT, WORTHLESSNESS, HARSHNESS.

Love intentionally, Mom and Dad. Speak intentionally. Touch intentionally.

Parent intentionally, please.

This is a thoughtful quote from A Woman’s Touch: The Fingerprints You Leave Behind by Amy Nappa. (Howard Publishing 2001). Though this book is addressed to women, Nappa’s advice below is equally applicable to moms, dads and grandparents.

Because of the vast amount of time we’ll spend with our children during their lives, they’re probably the ones who will be the most influenced, changed, and molded by our touch. So touch carefully! Pour honey into their hearts instead of vinegar. Give them your best side instead of your worst. Bring out the company dishes for them. Write them notes to remind them of your love.

Speak gently to them. Remember, the lips that kiss their wounds can also lay open new heartaches. Compliment them on their strengths and encourage them in their weaknesses. Tell them of your love for God and model that love daily. Let them see you reading your Bible and hear you turning to God in prayer…

The best tribute your children can give you is to grow up to be wise and loving men and women who follow Jesus. Be intentional in touching them. Show them the grace and love God has shown you. They’re your legacy to a world that desperately needs His touch. (pps 96-97)

God’s Word has something to say about writing on our hearts, too.

Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

Jeremiah 31:33 “This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.

Hebrews 10:16 “This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”