Encourage your children to be a good friend and make good friends. As school starts, continue to help your children to nurture good friendships and make new ones. It can take a while to make a good friend.

1. The first step is to be a good friend. List what you’d like in a friend and make sure you are like that too. 

Circle some of the most important friendship qualities. Add others that matter to you.

Loyalty            Honesty           Listens well     Creative     Fun

Praises you      Shares             Kind                Same interests

Makes good choices   Happy             Appreciates your success

Not jealous      Loves Jesus     Forgiving        Accepts you

2. Help your child understand ways to make a friend with these tips:

• Notice what the individual does well and say something positive like, “You’re good at math.” Or  “You run fast”
• Introduce yourself, like, “I’m Johnny and I like to play soccer.”
• Be available. Ask you parents when you can invite someone over to play or meet them at a park. 
• You need information, like a phone number to be able to call or ask the friend to play. With your parent’s permission, make a friend card with your name and phone number to give to someone who wants to be your friend.
• Really listen. Look at the person. Is the person happy, sad, or angry? Respond with kind words if there’s sadness or anger, and with humor or smiles if the person is happy.
• Read scriptures about friends: Proverbs 17:17 1 Samuel 18:1-4, 2 Samuel 1:23. Remember that Jesus is always your friend.

3. Solve problems with friends

• Head off jealousy by being thankful for your friend’s blessings.
• Cut out control issues. Share choices with friends, without always giving in or insisting on being in charge every time. Use words that promote sharing, such as “I want you to have the first choice”, “let’s share”, and “I like your ideas and hope you’ll like mine too.”
• Stop competing. Respect friends, and congratulate friends who succeed.
• Encourage a larger circle of kids. Invite newcomers to join your fun. 
• Learn to solve problems. Identify the real problem, express each one in an I-statement. Brainstorm solutions, and choose a compromise or satisfactory plan to try. 
• Be forgiving.

4. Try this friendship Bingo: see how many squares you can check off in a week or two.

Gave a compliment	Smiled at someone I don’t know	Asked someone to play with me	Listened well	Noticed when someone did something good
Cheered a friend on in a sport	Shared a snack	Let a friend have the first turn	Forgave someone	Prayed for a friend
Introduced myself	Found someone who shares an interest of mine	Laughed at a friend’s joke	Played with a friend	Talked with someone new
Talked with a friend	Congratulated a friend	Introduced someone new to my other friends	Read a scripture about friends	Encouraged a friend
Made a date to get together with a friend	Kept from getting angry at a friend	Made a friend at church	Studied with a friend	Played outdoors with a friend

Check out more tips on friendship.

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Blessings,

Karen