I wonder if you’ve ever thought about whether foster care is something your family could do? Have a look at the following checklist:

Foster care suitability test #1:
– Are you more loving than other people?
– Have you a tough, but ever caring, heart?
– Is your family perfect?

One thing people often say to me when they find out I’m a foster carer is ‘Oh, I could never do what you’re doing!’ And, to be honest, I don’t really know how to respond. I feel like these people have popped me into the checklist above and given me grades I don’t deserve. I am not pathologically more loving than the next person, I like to think I’m tough but have realised I’m not, my heart gets tired of caring and my family is certainly not perfect!
And yet, I am a foster carer.

I’ll be blunt here: foster care can be tough. Although there are many rewards and blessings, it can also break your heart, stretch your compassion and resilience, mess with your head and confuddle (my daughter’s word) day to day life.
But is the hardship of a journey a reason not to embark? And what does being a follower of Christ have to say about our attitude to such an adventure?

For me, it is impossible to separate my being a foster carer, and thus my acceptance of the potential hard times that come with it, from my walk after Jesus. 1 Peter 2:21 says ‘To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.’ (my emphasis). When we take a good hard look at the life of Jesus, right up to point where he gave up his spirit to death, we notice not just the miracles and celebration, but an intense suffering. And why did he suffer? For us. In all things he acted with consuming obedience to the will and purposes of God – and it was all in order to demonstrate God’s love for you and I.It makes me wonder; if this was Jesus’ approach to loving humanity, with no guarantee that we would return his love, ever acknowledge him as Lord, or accept the gift to become children of God (John 1:12) – surely it is a challenge to us, his disciples.

Jesus loved. He gave up his time, position, comfort, convenience and personal space. And he was willing, for our sake, to go to the cross because of God’s love. Suffering and love are so intertwined I cannot see the gospel without seeing the pain. But it is through this pain that freedom and healing is possible.
And so it is when we offer our hearts and homes to children in need.

So, is foster care for you and your family? If you’re willing to consider it, I’d recommend tossing any checklist that looks similar to the one above as far away as you can, and then prayerfully work your way through this alternative one:

Foster care suitability test #2:
– Do you feel the call of God on your lives to open your home to a child in need?
– Do you have, or are willing to acquire, the practical resources to take on the care of another child?
– Are you willing to be stretched, learn, adapt and seek support when needed? 

If you answered yes to all three, then maybe it’s time to look a little further and see if God might be inviting you to share in the sufferings of Christ (Romans 8:17) through the life changing adventure of foster care.

Penny