By guest blogger Pam McLagan

The Bible says that there are at least two things we do with and for our children: teach them what God says (Deuteronomy 4:9) and train them to do it (Proverbs 22:6).

Teaching has to do with imparting knowledge and instructing with guidelines, examples, or experience. Training has to do with directing growth (as with a plant); forming with instruction, discipline, and drill (!); coaching in order to make fit, qualified, or proficient. So teaching has to do with the information, and training has to do with skill building.

Think about it. How do runners get ready for a marathon? How do musicians gain proficiency? How do we learn to write, sew, play soccer, or read better? First, we get instruction: this is how we do it; this is why we do it. Next, we practice. Runners start slowly, perhaps, and then run longer distances, working themselves up to the marathon. Recently, I replicated a quilt pattern that I had not done for about ten years. Ahhh. It went so easily, and the blocks were so much better than the ones I did long ago. They are not perfect (my points could still use lots of work). But I know I’m getting better because of the instruction I get from friends and books, but mostly from LOTS of practice!

So it is with our children. We instruct them: “There is only one commandment for children, and that is to honor and obey their parents…” (Exodus 20:12 and Ephesians 6:1). And then we train them. “What do you do when I ask you to do something? You say ‘Yes, Mama,’ and go do it.” We give them practice. If they don’t get it right, we try it again…. and again…. and again. In the meantime, we take deep breaths and remember how God trains us and how many times it takes for us to get it right.

Discipline will vary with the child, but the basics are the same: teach and train. Knowledge and skill-building. And along the way, we keep in mind that it is God’s kindness that leads us toward repentance–or obedience (Romans 2:4), and that we are not to exasperate our children with inconsistency, anger, and capricious orders (Ephesians 6:4). We do this out of our love and respect for who they are and in the confidence of who we are and that this is the job God gave us.

(Deut 4:9; Deut 11:19-21; Prov 22:6-11; Rom 2:4; Eph 6:1-4) There’s a lot more in these Scriptures, so look them up and see what God says to you! pjm