I had a particularly busy week. In between traveling gigs, I had several writing deadlines to meet, mostly for short pieces. I started to panic about the longer speech I needed to write for the following week, and the rapidly passing time made me anxious.

In the midst of this, I had a “gig” with a local senior citizen group to talk to them about my book, 99 Things to Do Between Here and Heaven (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 2009). I’d spoken about this book to a similar group a few years ago, but for the life of me could not find my notes and handouts. After spending way too much time looking for the missing info, I had to put a new presentation together very quickly.

As the time for the presentation drew nearer, I got very grumpy. “Why do I do this to myself?” I wondered. “Why do I sign up for things that take me away from my writing when I have so many projects on the table?” Grumble, grumble, grumble. I became anxious. What if they didn’t like my presentation? What if I was boring? What if they wished they had never invited me? I headed out the door with an armful of books and my handouts, wishing I could just stay home.

The group was small, about 15 people. But they were interested in everything I had to say, and quite engaging with their questions and comments. They really got into the discussion, and contributed to the conversation in many wonderful ways. I felt instantly at ease, and it only took a few minutes before I stopped worrying my presentation.

Along with dialoguing about the book, they asked me about my children’s picture books, and wanted to know what it was like to work with an illustrator. We talked about the value of books, and they recalled some of their favorite books as a child, and the joy they had reading books to grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Before I knew it, my time was up.

A number of the folks came up to me to thank me, to tell me how much they enjoyed my talk. “We’re usually a noisy crowd, but everyone was quiet and paying attention today!” several said to me.
As I drove away to head home, I felt energized and renewed. I thanked God for this wonderful opportunity, and I apologized for being so grumpy. I should have known all along that God would give me the words I needed, that all I had to do was to trust God. I could hardly wait to get home and get going on my speech. I knew that God would give me the words for that, too. Why had I been so anxious? That kind of anxiety is a waste of time.

I will strive to remember the words of Proverbs (2:5-6); in fact, I think I will post these words in several places in my home:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”